How to Be a Great Grown-Up Buddy: What Kids Wish Parents Knew!

Raising kids with heart, humor, and a little bit of glitter.

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SHAMIM KASSIBAWI

Founder of Play: Date, Host of The Playground Podcast & Mum of Two Girls

If you ask my four-year-old, she'll tell you I'm her best friend. And honestly? That's my favorite title. It's not because I let her wear a mermaid dress to the grocery store, mall, and even doctor appointments (although I do), or because we have dance parties in the car (which we do); it's because I treat her like a person. A small, hilarious, glitter-covered person, but a person nonetheless.

Dinnertime in our house is sacred; it's when we hear everything about her day. Who did she play with? What did she learn? What made her laugh? I have a trick that gets her talking: I ask her, who was funny today, who was kind, who were you kind to, and who was not nice? This really gets her going.

She loves makeup—on herself, the house, and on me—and proudly picks her own outfit every morning. And sure, sometimes that means sparkly boots (in the middle of summer) and a tiara, but why not? That's her expressing herself. There are no rules.

I speak to my girls like I'd speak to a friend. When I say no, I explain why. "No junk food today because we've had some this week, and our bodies need good stuff too." Suddenly, it's not a battle; it's a conversation. I want them to feel empowered to make their own good choices.

Here's what my unofficial "Kid Expert Panel" (my daughters and their friends) want adults to know:

• Don't say, "Because I said so!" Please tell us why.

• Let us pick our outfits, even if it's all the colours at once.

• Dance and sing in the car, always.

• Let us play makeup artist, even if it's a red lipstick disaster.

• Talk to us like grown-ups—we understand more than you think.

Parenting has changed. Some of us were raised in a culture of "tough love" and strict rules. I am sure all parents and grandparents were amazing, but very firm. Fear was seen as respect. But I don't think that works for this generation. If you don't BFF your child from a young age, you'll miss the chance to build trust that lasts.

I'm no expert, but I know this: I don't want my kids to be scared of me. If they mess up, I want to be the first person they call. We're raising kids in the era of social media, where they're exposed to so much, so fast. I'd rather be in the know, talking openly and understanding what's really going on in their little minds, than be left out of the conversation entirely.

SHAMIM KASSIBAWI: Founder of Play: Date, Host of The Playground Podcast & Mum of Two Girls

At the end of the day, kids don't need perfect parents. They need present ones. So, grab the glitter glue, cue the playlist, and say yes to fairy wings at brunch. There's no rule that says parenting can't be fun and full of friendship!